Sample Joke content

Jumping Off The Building

There was a blonde and a brunette and they walked into a bar, sat down and started to watch the 7 o’clock news.

The brunette said, “I bet you a beer that that woman will jump off that building.”

“Ok” replied the blonde.

Surely enough the woman did jump off the building.

“Ok you won, Budweiser or Miller light?” said the blonde.

Then the brunette confessed… “No you don’t owe me
anything, I cheated because I saw the 5 o’clock news earlier.”

The blonde said, “So did I, but I didn’t think she would do it again!”

Blonde with a Pig

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A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks “Where did you get that?”

The pig says, “I won her in a raffle!”

Blondes Fishing

Three blondes were sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden came up behind them, tapped them on the shoulder and said, “Excuse me, ladies, I’d like to see your fishing licenses.”

“We don’t have any.” replied the first blonde.

“Well, if you’re going to fish, you need fishing licenses,” said the Game Warden.

“But officer,” replied the second blonde, “we aren’t fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we’re collecting debris off the bottom of the river.”

The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line.

“Well, I know of no law against it,” said the Game Warden, “take all the debris you want.” And with that, the Game Warden left.

As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically. “What a dumb Fish Cop,” the second blonde said to the other two, “doesn’t he know that there are steelheads in this river?!”

A Blonde and a Lawyer on a Plane

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game?

The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.

He explains, “I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa.”

Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.

The lawyer, now agitated, says, “Okay, if you don’t know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500.00.”

This catches the blonde’s attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question: “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?”

The blonde doesn’t say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer.

“Okay,” says the lawyer, “your turn”.

She asks the lawyer, “What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?”

The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail.

After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00.

The blonde says, “Thank you,” and turns back to get some more sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, “Well, what’s the answer?”

Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

A Blonde Plays Trivial Pursuit

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, “If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?”

She thought for a time and then asked, “Is the vacuum turned on or off?”

The Blonde and the Tiger Jigsaw Puzzle

A blonde called her boyfriend and said, “Please come over here and help me… I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get it started.”

Her boyfriend asked, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?”

The blonde said, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a tiger.”

Her boyfriend decided to go over and help with the puzzle. She let him in and showed him where she had the puzzle spread all over the table. He studied the pieces for a moment, then looked at the box, then turned to her and said, “First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger.”

He took her hand and said, “Second, I’d want you to relax… Let’s have a nice cup of tea, and then…”

He sighed, “let’s put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box.”

Puzzle Finished Fast

Three blondes walked into a bar and ordered a bottle of champagne.

“Celebrating something, ladies?” asked the barman.

They sat there debating who should tell him. Eventually the first blonde spoke.

“We’ve just finished a very difficult jigsaw in well under the time it said on the box.”

“Really?” asked the barman, “How long did it take you?”

“Six months”, said the second blonde.

“Oh?” said the barman.

“Yes” said the third blonde, “The box said three to four years.”

Blonde Wins a Raffle Prize

Bill, Michael, and their blonde friend Stacy were in the pub enjoying a few quiet drinks one night, when they decided to get in on the weekly raffle. They bought five $1 tickets each, seeing it was for charity. The following week, when the raffle was drawn, they each won a prize.

Bill won the first prize: a whole year’s supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce.

Michael won the second prize: six month’s supply of gourmet spaghetti.

Stacy won the sixth prize: a toilet brush.

When they met in the pub a week later, Stacy asked the others how they were enjoying their prizes.

“Great,” said Michael. “I love spaghetti.”

“So do I,” said Brian. “And how’s the toilet brush, Stacy?”

“Not so good,” Stacy confided. “I’m going to have to go back to paper.”

Blonde at the Casino Table

Two bored casino dealers were waiting at a craps table. A very attractive blonde lady arrived and bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. She said, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I’m completely nude.” With that she stripped from her neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, “Mama needs new clothes!” Then she hollered… “YES! YES! I WON! I WON!” jumping up and down and hugging each of the dealers. With that she picked up all the money and clothes and quickly departed.

The dealers just stared at each other dumbfounded.

Finally, one of them asked, “What did she roll?”

The other answered, “I thought YOU were watching!”

The Button

A blonde was standing in front of a soda machine muttering, “You’re a dumb-looking button. You don’t have much of a future, either. You’re going to be replaced by a much better looking button.”

“What are you doing?” her girlfriend asked.

The blonde quickly pointed to the sign on the front of the machine that read, 'Depress Button For Ice'.

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