Clean Blonde Jokes

First Class Blonde

A plane is on its way to Melbourne when a blonde in Economy Class gets up and moves to the First Class section and sits down.

The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. She then tells the blonde passenger that she paid for Economy and that she will have to go and sit in the back.

The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Melbourne and I’m staying right here!”

The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and co-pilot that there is some blonde sitting in First Class that belongs in Economy and won’t move back to her seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for Economy she is only entitled to an economy place and she will have to leave and return to her original seat.

The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Melbourne and I’m staying right here!”

Exasperated the co-pilot tells the pilot that it was no use and that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman that won’t listen to reason.

The pilot says, “You say she’s blonde? I’ll handle this, I’m married to a blonde, and I speak blonde!”

He goes back to the blonde, whispers in her ear, and she says, “Oh, I’m sorry - I had no idea,” gets up and moves back to her seat in the economy section.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask him what he said to make her move without any fuss.

The Pilot replies, “I told her First Class isn’t going to Melbourne.”

How do you call this place?

Two blondes were on holiday in Navajo country and they drove through a small township called 'Chihanchako'.

The one blonde turned to the other and said, “Gee how do ya pronounce that?”

The other one shrugged and said, “Maybe we can ask when we stop for lunch.”

So in the small township they stopped and walked into a fast food place where the first blonde said, “Excuse me but how do ya pronounce this place we’re in?”

The blonde girl behind the counter looked them both up and down, rolled her eyes, and said slowly “B–U–R–G–E–R – K–I–N–G”.

The Blonde Stewardess

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day’s route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her.

She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn’t get out of her room.

“You can’t get out of your room?” the captain asked, “Why not?”

The stewardess replied, “There are only three doors in here,” she cried, “one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says, 'Do Not Disturb!'”

Playing Hide and Seek

Q How many blondes does it take to play hide and seek?

A One.

The Glass Wall

Q Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall?

A To see what was on the other side.

M&Ms

Q How do you confuse a
blonde?

A Ask her to alphabetize
a bag of M&Ms.

Q Why does it work?

A “Does 3 come before E or does it go between M and W?”

Purple Money

There was a blonde, a brunette and a redhead looking at the new purple 5 dollar bill.
The brunette said, “That’s so cool! They should make blue money!”
The redhead said, “That’s so cool! They should make red money!”
The blonde said, “That’s so cool! They should make green money!”

Blonde Time

A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied, “You know, it’s the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer.”

Jumping Off The Building

There was a blonde and a brunette and they walked into a bar, sat down and started to watch the 7 o’clock news.

The brunette said, “I bet you a beer that that woman will jump off that building.”

“Ok” replied the blonde.

Surely enough the woman did jump off the building.

“Ok you won, Budweiser or Miller light?” said the blonde.

Then the brunette confessed… “No you don’t owe me
anything, I cheated because I saw the 5 o’clock news earlier.”

The blonde said, “So did I, but I didn’t think she would do it again!”

Blondes Fishing

Three blondes were sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden came up behind them, tapped them on the shoulder and said, “Excuse me, ladies, I’d like to see your fishing licenses.”

“We don’t have any.” replied the first blonde.

“Well, if you’re going to fish, you need fishing licenses,” said the Game Warden.

“But officer,” replied the second blonde, “we aren’t fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we’re collecting debris off the bottom of the river.”

The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line.

“Well, I know of no law against it,” said the Game Warden, “take all the debris you want.” And with that, the Game Warden left.

As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically. “What a dumb Fish Cop,” the second blonde said to the other two, “doesn’t he know that there are steelheads in this river?!”

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